There’s no point stressing out. I mean: a few extra kilos. Or clenching your ass, thinking that from January you’ll start exercising.
That’s what holidays are for — to indulge a bit.
What is worth doing is ensuring that this indulgence doesn’t, sooner or later, lead to obesity, diabetes, or similar health issues.
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor or a dietitian, just a chef who treats evidence-based dietetics (EBM) as an important part of culinary knowledge. I am a member of the Polish Society of Lifestyle Medicine, a professional scientific association.
My nutritional knowledge is solid enough that I’m aware of my own ignorance and, above all, I recommend that if you need health or dietary advice, you contact a doctor or a certified dietitian (MSc).
Internet celebrities, food technologists, or even chefs are definitely not authorities in this field.
And I have the impression that even sensible recommendations on how to take care of your health after the holidays come from some idealized world of a lady dietitian.
For example: I’m supposed to start my day with a glass of water… and drink water all day long. Like animals!
No. I start my day with a strong black coffee.
Or that after the holidays, I should eat food rich in fiber.
After the holidays, you eat what’s left over from the holidays.
Then I got another wise piece of advice: to stop eating leftovers after the holidays. Maybe the lady giving that advice can afford to throw good food into the trash — I can’t, and neither can most people.
Of course, it’s worth aiming for fewer calories and more movement. But realistically, not like: on the first day after the holidays, you go for a 10 km jog.
There’s no obligation to know this, so I’ll explain: I wrote “jogging” because I’ve hated running! my entire life. It’s the physical activity I hate the most. And when I read advice telling me to go for a run for some reason, I feel like slapping someone in the face.
And although I’m sure that for point 1 alone more than one person would like to slap me in the face, I have for you 5 more realistic, personally tested ways to be healthier — without the terror of drinking water and eating kale.
1. Alcohol
Ideally, something to quit before Christmas (here I’m as conservative as Archbishop Lefebvre — alcohol on Christmas Eve is, for me, a sin and a blasphemy), but New Year’s Eve is coming, so all the more reason.
Alcohol is evil.
I realize that universal abstinence is even less realistic than universal veganism, but a strong reduction in alcohol also means a significant reduction in calories.
Every bottle or can of alcohol should list how many calories it contains. That would discourage me very effectively in many cases.
2. Sweetened drinks
Another domain of evil. Unlike alcohol, this is something I know mostly in theory.
The only sweetened drink I ever occasionally liked was tonic — and only if there wasn’t much of it in the gin. Preferably none.
Last year, one of my guests left a bottle of Coca-Cola in my kitchen. One liter, maybe one and a half. It was an incredible experience. The first Coke I drank in… definitely longer than I’ve lived in Germany. And I’ve lived in Germany for 6.5 years.
Luckily, I’ve never sweetened coffee or tea.
With sweetened drinks, you can easily consume as many calories per day as in a heavy meal — and in the worst possible form: simple carbohydrates, fructose, sucrose.
Not only cola, Pepsi, Fanta — fruit juices often contain loads of sugar too.
That said, I absolutely do not encourage drinking plain tap water. Or bottled water (not only because of microplastics).
Fish fuck in water. Drinking water is like eating plain oatmeal — maybe there’s some logic to it, but life is already hard enough without punishing yourself like that. Better to be hungry than eat that crap.
I hate drinking water, especially still water. When I drink, I want to taste something. Maybe it’s a professional deformation.
I recommend a soda maker. I recommend sparkling water (preferably in glass bottles) with lime or lemon juice, maybe some fresh mint.
Personally, I really like carbonated yerba-mate drinks. They usually contain much less sugar than cola-type drinks. I recommend them especially to beer lovers like me — the bitterness of yerba gives a similar comfort-food vibe.
If you feel like it, play around with homemade lemonades: herbs, lemon, lime, orange juice, blended watermelon.
3. Go on a sleigh ride
If you just tapped your head and thought, “What the fuck are you talking about?”, you’re right!
The last sleigh rides I remember are more childhood stories than real winter experiences — and maybe I went once.
And now, since there is obviously no global warming, there’s also no snow or frost, so sleigh rides are out anyway.
So yes, a bullshit piece of advice — like most encouragements to exercise, in my opinion.
And here religion has an advantage.
Especially if someone walks to church!
No one will get up from the Christmas table to go sleigh riding or jogging — but going to church for a holiday mass? Why not.
I’m a big fan of what’s called non-exercise physical activity.
Everything we do: when I fidget in a chair while writing, walking a long corridor to the kitchen, or when I go to another building for the laundry. Whether we walk to church or the store, or drive. Elevator or stairs.
Anyway — try to move more, however you can.
In my opinion, the best method is to find a form of activity — training or non-training — that gives you pleasure and joy.
For me, it’s walking 15–20 km through the city, photographing street art, poking into alleys where you might get punched in the face.
If you like art galleries, visiting the Kunsthalle in Hamburg takes several hours and easily adds up to many kilometers walked.
Yes, not everyone lives 90 minutes from Hamburg with a cheap all-day public transport ticket. But forests are great too. I like walking in cities because I live in the forest.
Going to a party, a concert, dancing, and jumping in front of the stage is also a great form of physical activity — see point 1, though.
And during the holiday and New Year period, there are many charity actions, meals for the poor, homeless, and lonely. Getting involved often means hours of physical work: setting up tables, carrying equipment, etc. You do something good for others and something good for your health.
4. Do something
Something — anything — other than eating.
The holiday period means more free time for many people. As a classic put it: “People want immortality but don’t know what to do on Saturday afternoon.” So they eat.
Out of boredom. And a lack of emotional regulation.
So I go to places where you might get punched in the face. Or I play Wolfenstein and watch movies about street dealers — to regulate emotions.
If you get absorbed in something, you’ll eat less.
No, getting absorbed in eating chips in front of Netflix doesn’t count.
5. (The most important one — those who read R.A. Wilson know the Rule of Five)
Don’t believe in detox diets, cleanses, or miracle cures. They usually cleanse your bank account. Sometimes they endanger your health.
To be clear: high-deficit diets, fasting, etc., can have positive effects in some cases.
But they are not miracle remedies, and especially after a period of overeating, you shouldn’t jump into such eating behaviors. If you ever want to try them, do it after consultation and under the supervision of a doctor or dietitian.
If someone tells you to stop eating bread to cure depression, to eat dog fat to cure diabetes, neurosis, and “bitchosis” — and especially if the person selling this says it’s secret knowledge that the Matrix/doctors/corporations/the system/Illuminati/reptilians don’t want you to know — you’re dealing with a fucking idiot.
At best.
At worst, a mentally ill person.
At the very worst, a scammer is exploiting human suffering.
Avoid such people like the plague.
And of course, nothing bad will happen if you follow none of these rules (except the fifth). If you follow even one, that’s great (even just the fifth). And if you really drink water and eat kale — respect.
As Buddha supposedly said: do as much as you can, in the way you can. Only that — and as much as that.
- Zaloguj lub zarejestruj się aby dodawać komentarze